Unless you’ve walked in my shoes you can not know….what it felt like for your mom to tell you pack your shit we are moving to California. To a new place you don’t know anybody. Not knowing what’s normal or how to act or talk to people. What it was like to be told by your uncle his twin Josh, whom I loved so much, committed suicide due to an overdose on crystal meth and alcohol. The feelings of having a part of me die when the man I loved so much... dies is unbearable a giant hole in my heart.
Also the constant fear of abandonment brings back the pain I felt by my father of him abandoning me and it constantly kept me wondering “what did I do wrong???” The pain I felt when he left has scarred me for the last 15 years and has kept me from getting attached so I never felt the pain again if the next one I grew to love left. But those scars helped me turn into the woman I am today so I guess I have to thank him for that right??
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