This has made me stronger and made my relationships with others stronger too.

If you were in my shoes, you would have experienced sexual abuse by multiple family members, as a child, for years.

If you had walked in my shoes you would be going to court against your abusers to help prevent this from happening to more people. If you were in my shoes half of your family would like you and the other half would not. If you were in my shoes, you would be giving people advice about what to do if they were also abused. If it happened to you, I would advise you to tell someone you trust and feel comfortable with. This will be a hard process for you as it has been for me.

Luckily, my parents and friends have been a great support for me. They have helped me through a lot that I couldn't deal with by myself. So I would advise you to find yourself a good support team who can help you.

One of the hardest things for me was to first admit it all to myself. If you decide to press charges you will be going to court so keep in mind that court is a long process. I've been going to court for over a year. When you are ready the first people you should tell are your parents if they are not the abuser or abusers. Some people in my family don't believe me so don't be surprised if people don't believe you. Just keep telling the truth.

I've found that through this process my counselor has been very helpful. So whether you are going to court or not I suggest you get yourself a counselor. It's okay to feel emotion. Don't let people tell you not to cry. You need to cry to let things out. My matter how hard or painful it is, crying is part of the healing process. Since you have the right to feel others also have the right to feel the way they feel.

As you admit about the abuse, I've found that it hurts less and less to talk about it. Until it either isn't painful anymore or just feels like a pinch. As I talked about the abuse, I felt free. So I began telling everyone about the abuse. Don't make the same mistake I have. Just tell who you trust or need to tell. When I began to tell everyone, people looked at me so differently, as a victim, and not for who I am. People also began to talk about me behind my back. Some people treated me like the abuse was my fault, like I had wanted it and was a nasty person. People can be very cruel. There have been times when telling the truth felt like torture, but it has all turned out to be worthwhile.

In the end, it has made me stronger and has made my relationships with other stronger too. I suggest you face everything head on. I suggest you keep a positive attitude throughout your process not matter how difficult it is to be positive sometimes. It's also okay not to remember everything about the abuse. Just say what you can remember.

Love,

The victim who became the gateway for others to heal.